Welcome!

Welcome to my blog!  What I will be sharing here are sections of a narrative I have been working on for the last couple years.  During the course of my life, I ran into some trouble with drugs.  This eventually lead me to homelessness and almost death.  There were several major factors along the way that allowed me to keep moving in a forward direction in spite of drug addiction, self degradation, and poverty.

  Before the drugs and debauchery, I was in a graduate program for writing.  I had written several short stories and was working on a fictional novel.  Then, when my dad passed away, things changed.

I was uncertain sometimes if I would survive being a drug addict.  When I had no where to stay, I often worried about what would become of me.  Since I am here now, alive and thriving, I realized the circumstances I survived were worth writing about.  The experiences up to that point were unknown to me, and I suspect they are unknown to others as well. When I began  to write about this stuff, I realized that the plot, and all the characters were right in front of me.  I did not have to create them out of my imagination.   I can joke about what I went through as research for a novel, but I don't recommend others trying this for themselves.

That said, I want to warn readers that there is some coarse language, and graphic descriptions of situations.  Granted, I will not post anything too gory or disturbing, but if individuals are interested, I could send them more stuff to read in private.  I would be honored if people wanted to offer feedback, critical remarks, or support.  This work is mostly unedited and is a first draft. 

I will start with something that is in the middle of the story, with me having difficulty wanting to go to sleep even though it is greatly needed.  I had great fear of bugs crawling on me while I slumbered and this is a response to that notion.....

 

Scuffle, scuffle. Crinkle crinkle. Scuffle, crinkle, scuffle crinkle. Scuffle, scuffle. Crinkle, crinkle. Scuffle, crinkle, scuffle, crinkle.....

I sit upright in a flash. I hear the scuffling, but don't see anything. I look around my room and everything is in it's place. I'm particular where I put things. I continue looking around my room as my eyes become adjusted to being awake. Everything seems in it's place but the sound.....

Scuffle, scuffle. Crinkle, crinkle. Scuffle, crinkle, scuffle crinkle....

I look down at the carpet, and jump up on the top of my bed in an instant.  The carpet is flowing from underneath the wall of Baby Strange's room. The cockroaches march diligently in an organized chaos. Their dirty thoraxes and filthy antennae brush and rub against each other, sharing pestilence, creating a fervor.

Scuffle, scuffle. Crinkle, crinkle. Scuffle, crinkle, scuffle, crinkle....

The cockroach orgy fills my entire floor. I  look for a place to jump in case the bugs start crawling up the bed. Too late, the end of my bed was filling up with the brown and rust colored critters.

SCUFFLE, SCUFFLE. CRINKLE CRINKLE. SCUFFLE, CRINKLE, SCUFFLE, CRINKLE....

They swarm my legs, stinging my skin. Purple welts erupt on my thighs oozing a toxic pus that burns as it flows out of the wounds. The cockroaches engulf my torso, stinging and numbing my cock and balls. They swarm my chest, making it hard to breath. With each labored breath, I inhale writhing cockroaches. They constrict the muscles in my chest and each breath was more labored than the last. I gasp for oxygen but I taste crunchy, metallic, bugs instead of air. Detritus gets caught in my teeth causing my gums to bleed. I fall to the bed, half my body falling to the floor. More cockroaches swarm my face, entering my nostrils and burning my sinuses. Their barbed legs gauge out my eyes and they charge through the empty sockets towards my brain. The burning, stinging, becomes a throbbing as more and more cockroaches fill up my skull. The rest of my body is bloating, my skin stretching painfully over my bones while warm bugs wiggle and expand in my viscera. It feels like I'm about to burst. AHHHHHHHH.....

My head snaps awake again. I look at the floor, and it is the standard Adrian Hotel dark blue carpet.  That reminds me, when I wake up, I need to sweep it.   I stand up from the captains chair and laid down on the bed.  I pull the blanket up over my body and most of my head. I'm still wearing clothes and boots. I begin to rock back forth. “There is a force field around me. It will protect me while I sleep. There is a force field around me. It will protect me while I sleep. There is a force field around me. It will protect me while I sleep. There is a force field around me......” Then I crashed.